So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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