Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
