what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
