Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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