My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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