i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
