My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
