I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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