Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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