Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
