Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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