He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize