Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
