are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We are two peas in an std pod
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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