You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
