belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
