she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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