So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
