we're blogging at a bar
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
