hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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