Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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