im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
