there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
