I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
