apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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