Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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