So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
