Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
