Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
