Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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