Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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