i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
