I just cut my nipple shaving
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
