my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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