Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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