It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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