With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
