how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You made out with two different species that night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize