You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just high enough for therapy.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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