Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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