drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
