is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
