So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize