areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
