that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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