FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize