He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
