this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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