Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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