he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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