I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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