Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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