seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
