He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
