Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize