Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just had sex on a roof
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
