I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
