I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
