You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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