it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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