you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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