somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize