The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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