This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
